Friday, February 20, 2015

The Pelican

Actual texts between me and a friend:

...AND a true story on the 405. Yeah, I guess 2015 IS looking better than 2014...

Me: Okay, so I'm driving yesterday day
I mean...
I'm driving yesterday...
(... A little too much whiskey tonight)
Damnit. You never drink with me.
And traffic around lax/Santa Monica gets real slow
Shut up
Reeeeaaalllll slow
... Like like time to smoke a cigarette slow...
So I'm driving like 5 Miles Per Help me kill myself and I drive next to-

What??? Who is pelguin???
Just sitting there, IN THE CARPOOL LANE looking at me like " hey there pretty lady"
NO!!! Pelican!

In a car?
No ON THE FREEWAY. Just standing there looking at me- like "I know about you and your boudjuor ideas you crazy redd" ( insert Russian accent here)
That's how I saw him, with a hat, beret like and cigar. With that lllooonnnggg beak.... See it?
Lol ok
It was surreal, yet totally happening. I LOVED it!!! But I was the only one, I thought, who saw it.

(10 minute gap)

So I called 911.

Were you drunk then too? Maybe there is a reason you're the only one who saw it...
FYI- they SAID they already had a call. A truck was on its way for the bird. So there.
Lol suuuuuuuuure.
Whatever. My truth is awesome.
That it is, redd...that it is. Thank you for sharing such a crazy story! I wish I'd been there.
I'm gonna post it on Facebook.
Hell yeah
But when I do, I'm totally adding the beret and cigar.


You know what though, in some bizarre Hollywood way, I wanted to put that dang bird in my car (A little red convertible, which totally had the top down on a sunny CA day- duh) and together we would just kick it back to Grams for her bday before going home. I mean it looked at me, like that.

It was that kind of awesome seeing that bird standing there in the carpool lane, I seriously felt like Ross in Friends with that monkey, and we didn't even have a Scrabble piece to bind us. Calling 911 was like calling the Narc's on him even though I knew he was better, hoped he would better, with some help. Though to me we will always share a cheap cigar and beret (Artists like us need our props). They bind us, tell me you don't agree.

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