On The Other Shore

Charlie Immel

Charlie

I'm a first name basis kind of soul. Dave my mailman, Diana my hairdresser, and Jerry my neighbor can attest to that. My address book on my iPhone is further proof for every person within it is listed by their first, not last names. Though not traditional it's never posed any issues and works well for me in storing the information needed for family and friends. There is one caveat that was always more of a joy than a true issue. 

Our media buyer from work, Charlie is often needed via the phone to clarify billings. As I am the final step in the process of releasing approval of funds I pick his name from my phone from time to time. Only more often than not I end up calling my friend Charlie in error. Sometimes I get him directly, other times I get voicemail and hang up. On those occasions he will then see that I called, and in true cell phone etiquette always call me back. In these cases there is most always a moment of confusion as I am completely perplexed why he is calling. This confusion always humored him- especially since we have danced this waltz before, but by the end of the conversation twenty minutes have past and I am recharged and always left smiling.

It isn't just inconsequential phone calls either, Charlie was the first person I called when Erik was taken to the hospital. He is part of all of our celebrations, many family vacations, and endless evenings where the stories and laughter outlasted the food on the table. 

Tonight I got a call that Charlie died. He had been sick with the flu these last few weeks and it progressed to pneumonia which was just too much for his body to handle. I can't believe it, I just don't know how to put my friend away and tuck those stupid, but oh so precious misdialed conversations away forever. In the fifteen years of knowing Charlie he taught me to surf (okay, tried to teach me), to fish for trout (as well as fry the trout perfectly over an open flame), to never underestimate the power of a good beach bonfire, and to laugh whenever possible among friends.

I will so miss you.

Hiatus

Hiatus

I've been on a self-imposed hiatus. There were too many things going on in my life that required attention or reflection and writing about it just wasn't a priority or even a necessity for me at the time. 
I am a part time wife, full time mother, turning in my step parenting credentials in the wake of a broken trust yet to be repaired. And so another level of complexity gets added to my story in this life.
Thus another year passes through the space and time on this ride to where we now once again find ourselves coming together and meeting to catch up to discuss life and share stories. 

Enjoy.

Long Live Imagination

In my life I have lived many different hats. Mother, daughter, wife, sister. I am always an extension to someone else and I have no one to blame for this but myself for I give to those around me and do so freely, with only so many hours in the day it is no one’s fault but my own when there is little time left when everyone else'e needs are met.

So it is with a great deal of pride when I find myself taking time to do things for myself above those around me. Greater still with the support of my family who supports and assists me in these hobbies and interests without guilt, especially a long standing one that is photography. I have had an interest in Photography since I was a child and my own Mom turned our bathroom into a darkroom so we could spend weekends developing pictures into the wee hours. 

Which is not to say I know everything about photography. I just enjoy capturing the world the way that I see it. Recently my daughter mentioned my photographs and the possibilities of submissions into a few photo contests. I have been restless in my accounting job and am feeling anxious to be known more in a creative field. Do it. Was her sixteen year old matter of putting it.

Step in fate and do it I did. 

Almost by accident I found out about a contest shortly after my angst and our conversation, so I entered a few photos into Canon and Ron Howard’s Long Live Imagination photo contest in which there are 10 themes. There will even be a movie made from the winning photos.

Well, finalist be damned. But I am among the very lucky, and I am so very proud. Check it out and hopefully you will like it and find a way to vote for it as your favorite. I want to win because it merits amongst the best of the bunch and not because of a mass blog to readers. I am proud of it, I love the comments and it’s true I do walk a little straighter, a little brighter, and I can’t wait to shoot more pictures tomorrow!  

Direct link to my finalist piece

Coffee Break by Shay Kay

Thank You, More Please

Tuolumne Meadows by Shay Kay

Reflections/ 365 Days

Tuolumne Meadows, Sept. 2011

There was a fat girl living my life and I had no idea. I am not bothered at all by that fact, what I am bothered by are the comments I receive now that she has apparently left the building (so to speak). 

Maybe I should explain…

I never knew I was overweight, I mean I knew I had a few more pounds than I needed, but those pounds were Mom pounds, easy to lose if I cared enough you know non intrusive pounds that were easily hidden and equally disguised.

I am also a liver of the life I lead so I was never wanted to be weighed down by my size. When trying on clothes I would become frustrated by the system, not my body. Its interesting that it was the clothing companies and manufacturers that I always found fault with. You know they just don’t make a Large like they used to and, wow guess XL is the new L or I’ll just get it a size larger because I like it roomy. 

When I looked in the mirror it’s not that I hated what I saw, I just saw me so it was all good- I just had no clue that who I saw wasn’t the same person everyone else saw.

Then, a year ago I started having some health issues that have nothing to do with weight or weight related issues but as a result I had to begin a daily medicine that affected my appetite. Ever so slowly my weight changed. It has altered so much that people that know me have approached me as if I had a unsightly third limb removed that everyone knew about prior but no one wanted to point out. 

Gleefully they come up beaming with pride like I broke through to some secret society that they had always wanted to invite me too but never could. To me its weird, awkward, and uncomfortable. It just seems like a fake scene that is replayed each time another person sees me or another five pounds is lost. 

Now I am not totally crazy (okay maybe I am, but that is another post), the whole thing is really how I perceived myself. I saw that my clothes fit different and I no longer blamed companies for their odd way of sizing. Its was like everything just went back to normal. Everything just made sense again when before excuses were the norm.

Tuolumne Meadows, Sept. 2012

Then this last weekend Erik and I went back to one of my favorite places just outside of Yosemite Valley and I took an almost duplicate picture from the year previous. Back home I was switching out the photos on my desk when I saw both women for the first time. 

The girl that I always saw looking back in the mirror was real for everyone at last. Its just that prior to this year I was the only one who saw her. 

Maria

I first noticed you, sitting at the bar next to me playing Words With Friends. 

Funny a barstool and basket of peanuts used to be an invitation to meet people, talk to them and see eye to eye. Now it was a quick drink and an Ap. The bar scene was a sad place given most were nose deep and had blinders on. 

I had decided not to fall prey and was resolute to not only SEE people, but smile at them as well. Shocking results ensued. 

You were no exception. Eventually we caught each others eye, something clicked, we talked and even shared a laugh or two with fellow patrons before discovering we were on the same ferry back to Seattle. Bound now we celebrated with yet another toast together and set off with our bags and merriment.

Stories, Laughs, and yes more drinks were shared. Even more friends were made as we traveled along our way back to the lives we had escaped if only for a short time.

All too soon, you were off on your way and I was off to mine. A plane ride for you, for me it was one more night in a hotel.

At 3:30 in the morning you woke me up with a text that you were home and safe- after all that’s what friends do.