Hiatus

Hiatus

I've been on a self-imposed hiatus. There were too many things going on in my life that required attention or reflection and writing about it just wasn't a priority or even a necessity for me at the time. 
I am a part time wife, full time mother, turning in my step parenting credentials in the wake of a broken trust yet to be repaired. And so another level of complexity gets added to my story in this life.
Thus another year passes through the space and time on this ride to where we now once again find ourselves coming together and meeting to catch up to discuss life and share stories. 

Enjoy.

Long Live Imagination

In my life I have lived many different hats. Mother, daughter, wife, sister. I am always an extension to someone else and I have no one to blame for this but myself for I give to those around me and do so freely, with only so many hours in the day it is no one’s fault but my own when there is little time left when everyone else'e needs are met.

So it is with a great deal of pride when I find myself taking time to do things for myself above those around me. Greater still with the support of my family who supports and assists me in these hobbies and interests without guilt, especially a long standing one that is photography. I have had an interest in Photography since I was a child and my own Mom turned our bathroom into a darkroom so we could spend weekends developing pictures into the wee hours. 

Which is not to say I know everything about photography. I just enjoy capturing the world the way that I see it. Recently my daughter mentioned my photographs and the possibilities of submissions into a few photo contests. I have been restless in my accounting job and am feeling anxious to be known more in a creative field. Do it. Was her sixteen year old matter of putting it.

Step in fate and do it I did. 

Almost by accident I found out about a contest shortly after my angst and our conversation, so I entered a few photos into Canon and Ron Howard’s Long Live Imagination photo contest in which there are 10 themes. There will even be a movie made from the winning photos.

Well, finalist be damned. But I am among the very lucky, and I am so very proud. Check it out and hopefully you will like it and find a way to vote for it as your favorite. I want to win because it merits amongst the best of the bunch and not because of a mass blog to readers. I am proud of it, I love the comments and it’s true I do walk a little straighter, a little brighter, and I can’t wait to shoot more pictures tomorrow!  

Direct link to my finalist piece

Coffee Break by Shay Kay

Thank You, More Please

Tuolumne Meadows by Shay Kay

Reflections/ 365 Days

Tuolumne Meadows, Sept. 2011

There was a fat girl living my life and I had no idea. I am not bothered at all by that fact, what I am bothered by are the comments I receive now that she has apparently left the building (so to speak). 

Maybe I should explain…

I never knew I was overweight, I mean I knew I had a few more pounds than I needed, but those pounds were Mom pounds, easy to lose if I cared enough you know non intrusive pounds that were easily hidden and equally disguised.

I am also a liver of the life I lead so I was never wanted to be weighed down by my size. When trying on clothes I would become frustrated by the system, not my body. Its interesting that it was the clothing companies and manufacturers that I always found fault with. You know they just don’t make a Large like they used to and, wow guess XL is the new L or I’ll just get it a size larger because I like it roomy. 

When I looked in the mirror it’s not that I hated what I saw, I just saw me so it was all good- I just had no clue that who I saw wasn’t the same person everyone else saw.

Then, a year ago I started having some health issues that have nothing to do with weight or weight related issues but as a result I had to begin a daily medicine that affected my appetite. Ever so slowly my weight changed. It has altered so much that people that know me have approached me as if I had a unsightly third limb removed that everyone knew about prior but no one wanted to point out. 

Gleefully they come up beaming with pride like I broke through to some secret society that they had always wanted to invite me too but never could. To me its weird, awkward, and uncomfortable. It just seems like a fake scene that is replayed each time another person sees me or another five pounds is lost. 

Now I am not totally crazy (okay maybe I am, but that is another post), the whole thing is really how I perceived myself. I saw that my clothes fit different and I no longer blamed companies for their odd way of sizing. Its was like everything just went back to normal. Everything just made sense again when before excuses were the norm.

Tuolumne Meadows, Sept. 2012

Then this last weekend Erik and I went back to one of my favorite places just outside of Yosemite Valley and I took an almost duplicate picture from the year previous. Back home I was switching out the photos on my desk when I saw both women for the first time. 

The girl that I always saw looking back in the mirror was real for everyone at last. Its just that prior to this year I was the only one who saw her. 

Maria

I first noticed you, sitting at the bar next to me playing Words With Friends. 

Funny a barstool and basket of peanuts used to be an invitation to meet people, talk to them and see eye to eye. Now it was a quick drink and an Ap. The bar scene was a sad place given most were nose deep and had blinders on. 

I had decided not to fall prey and was resolute to not only SEE people, but smile at them as well. Shocking results ensued. 

You were no exception. Eventually we caught each others eye, something clicked, we talked and even shared a laugh or two with fellow patrons before discovering we were on the same ferry back to Seattle. Bound now we celebrated with yet another toast together and set off with our bags and merriment.

Stories, Laughs, and yes more drinks were shared. Even more friends were made as we traveled along our way back to the lives we had escaped if only for a short time.

All too soon, you were off on your way and I was off to mine. A plane ride for you, for me it was one more night in a hotel.

At 3:30 in the morning you woke me up with a text that you were home and safe- after all that’s what friends do.

Seven years. Same Canyon, Same place, Same amazing kids

2005

You don’t realize the days that transform your world, I mean collectively the days that turn into weeks that turn into months and then years and so forth. This life that we live is so extraordinary and yet we breath it one second at a time and quite frankly experience it so slowly that it is no wonder that we miss so much of it as it passes us by.

Perhaps that is why I love taking pictures so much. Why I am thrilled by what I see through a lens and what I have as a historical footprint for myself as well as my children and, some day, their children.

I was here, I am here, and I remember as if it were yesterday when really it was seven years ago. 

2012

Happy Mothers Day.

I was in it for the T-shirt and swag bag all along anyway

The Revlon 5k Run/Walk For Women

Our intentions were good. But, really there was soooo many people...and truth be told it was basically like being on the 405 freeway at 5:00pm on a Friday only with people instead of cars. 

I was in it for the T-shirt and swag bag anyway. Well, that and the LA shopping my girl and I were gonna do afterwards.

...So after sitting at the back of the starting line for 30 minutes (which seemed like 90) and moving all of 5 feet we looked at each other and decided that in Los Angeles kilometers were actually steps and we had completed our responsibilities so what better time to start shopping then right away? 

We hit Burbank, Glendale, and Santa Monica before night hit and we needed to head back home.

Footnote: This race for us had no sponsors and we had paid all our fees for Cancer research ahead of time so we held no obligation to complete the race other than being there together and having fun. AND think of all The people that saw us while we were walking around and shopping while wearing our race shirts, collectively spreading the word about Cancer research and thinning our wallets- Really we were helping the cause in our own creative way when you think about it.